On Vulnerability

Jan and I try to have an open and honest relationship. We are free to share anything with each other. That freedom did not come overnight. It was the result of years of hard relational work. When we first began this shared journey, our openness about confession and repentance was raw, brutal, and at times embarrassingly vulnerable.

We decided years ago to have no secrets between each other. Since that initial decision, we have worked together to maintain that clarity because we realize the enemy of our soul knows how to drive a wedge of compromise between us if we give him any space. Those wedges appear when we allow exceptions to come between us for anything but full transparency.

Last night, one of those compromises made an appearance. It wasn’t some sexual issue, thievery or tabloid-worthy infraction. It would be something a lot of people might not even recognize. But I did, and so did God. He patiently waited for me to bring it up to Jan as the evening progressed. I forgot about it by the time we went to bed. As a result, I didn’t sleep well last night. This morning I remembered the issue as I was dressing, I asked the Lord to confirm if He wanted me to share it with Jan. He answered me like He does many times. He spoke through my surroundings.  In the very next moment after asking the Lord, I looked down and atop the dirty clothes bin sat our local newspaper. It was opened to a page where the title of an article read “On Vulnerability.”

A few minutes later, Jan walked into the kitchen. I told her about the issue I was carrying and the newspaper article. She smiled and laughed with joy at God’s faithfulness. Then she thanked me. One reason why I can share anything with Jan is that when I do confess something, I know I won't be rejected. The purest kind of love, the God kind, never rejects a person in a moment of confession. That kind of love celebrates vulnerability.

Jan and I are far from being perfect in a lot of areas of life, but one thing we do have is a shared vulnerability. It’s not fear-based. It is sourced in a spiritual and emotional hunger to be intimate with each other and most importantly, with God. We know how easy it is for love to be high jacked by subtle and progressive compromise. It would be the saddest thing to wake up someday and realize the relationship God had entrusted us with was compromised because we allowed something other than love to rule our lives at the expense of living in the freedom of shared vulnerability.