When Corny is Good

Last night, Jan and I watched a movie that was different from our typical fare of drama, action, and intrigue. It was a western. At first, I thought it might be too corny to endure, but it grew on us as the minutes rolled on. The theme of the movie was redemption, honor, and integrity. After the movie was over, I turned to Jan and said, “That was refreshing. I’m glad we watched it.” Jan agreed. Perhaps we are all at that place emotionally when filling our eyes with simplicity, authenticity and a bit of corny emotional input is just what we need. A detour into the simple and pure things of life in these complicated times will offer us an intermission of peace and a moment of rest when life becomes heavy and dark, polluted with a never-ending broadcast of evil and wrongdoing. 

Beware of Accusation

Satan is described in the Book of Revelation as an accuser. He makes accusations based on false evidence. He is afoot today in ways that seem credible until you pry back the layers of deception and discover the hidden truth. Be careful before you toss out an accusation against anyone. Only God knows the truth no matter how persuasive the first draft of evidence might seem. A biased and profit-motivated media is not always a reliable source for truth, neither are frustrated and angry people. We may never know the full story upon which accusations or acquittals are sourced. At that point, it will seem counterintuitive to rest and wait for the Lord, but that is the way of spiritual discipline and self-control.

Opinions That Divide

Opinions have been shared that have tested the integrity of longtime relationships, so much that a distance now exists between friends. It would be a sad thing, if, in this season of social intensity, a differing opinion would be given permission to create division, resulting in separation, and eventual isolation. In the end, this division will have a more detrimental effect on the mission of the Church than the social disorder we see playing out on the stage of our culture. Our oneness as believers is not found in our politics or sociology, but in the person of Jesus Christ.

Ride-Along

When I was a cop every once in a while, I would be assigned a ride-along. A ride-along is a civilian who has been cleared to ride with a patrol officer to see what life was like on the streets. Of all the people that rode along with me, each one left that experience with a greater understanding of the job.

I wonder what it would be like if we could have a ride-along program in other areas of life. What would it be like for someone to ride along with a small business owner struggling to make payroll and keep the doors open during an economic downturn? What would it be like to ride along with a young, single mom with two kids in tow working multiple jobs just to survive, or riding along with someone who has a different ethnicity or social status and on the receiving end of demeaning comments and behavior? What would it be like to be a politician, an honest one, trying to pass laws that only get passed in an environment of compromise?

Separation from each other’s daily struggles is where the danger of misunderstanding takes place. We judge someone before we know who they are or the struggles they face. It’s easy to lob judgmental grenades into the lap of someone who is living in a challenging situation, of which we have no firsthand knowledge or empathy. Perhaps the most life-changing thing that takes place during a ride-along is getting close enough to see and hear the personal struggles other people are experiencing. It’s in that connection where understanding comes, and a compassionate response can be offered.

Repentance, Lament and Hope

In the coming days, many of us will take part in prayer and repentance gatherings to heal our hearts in an attempt to heal our nation. One of the themes for these gatherings is the subject of lament. Lament is an expression of grief and sorrow. The recognition of lament is what joins us with and helps us recognize the grief and sorrow being experienced by our fellow citizens. The subject of lament motivated me to begin reading the book of Lamentations in the Old Testament. It is a book filled with heavy and dark images of suffering that come as a result of unrepentance. Jeremiah held nothing back when he penned Lamentations.

“Your prophets have said so many foolish things, false to the core. They did not save you from exile by pointing out your sins. Instead, they painted false pictures, filling you with false hope” (Lamentations 2:14).  When I read those words, I was struck by the blindness we can so easily embrace when we fill our minds with things that deny our part in our current social sorrow. These issues are the subtle and hidden attitudes we possess that are deceptive and can be overlooked if we think we are not complicit in some way.

When we live a life without lamenting the sins of our ancestors and the sins we currently choose to ignore, we set ourselves up for consequences that are not God’s intent for us individually or as a nation. We need to prophesy hope, coupled with responsibility. Without personal responsibility, we will only paint false images that will fill us with false hope and lead us to believe that real change can take place apart from repentance. 

What we see playing out on our TV and computer screens is the result of people either accepting false hope or someone experiencing the loss of hope. Hope is only possible when we offer the Lord our hearts and allow Him the opportunity to mold us through acts of repentance into people who can reflect His heart to those who suffer and will continue to suffer if true repentance does not take place.   This hope is only found in Jesus Christ. Every other offering of hope is a false hope.

The Gift of Honor

In the last few days, I have been reading through Proverbs. Proverbs is one of those down to earth, practical sections of Scripture that helps us navigate life with wisdom.

This morning I read, “If you do, you will lose your honor” (Proverbs 5:9). The context of that declaration has to do with someone being seduced sexually and the sad consequences of that choice. But that warning applies to more than just sexual seduction. It can refer to any form of seduction like the seducing presence of power, control, or pride.

With that in mind, I went back and reread chapter 5 to see how seduction takes place. It first begins with smooth words that appeal to a place in us that is vulnerable to the kind of seduction being offered. Once the smooth and inviting words are received, a conversation begins leading the victim to the door of the house of the seducing spirit. Once inside, it is too late. Seduction is complete, and honor is lost.

The writer of Proverbs shares the regret of the seduced person, “How I hated discipline. If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace” (v.12-14). 

Seduction of any kind can seem like it comes out of left field, but in reality, we carry and develop our vulnerability to its lure over time.  This is why each day, we must examine our hearts to see if we are carrying a vulnerability to any form of seduction that has the intent and purpose of robbing us of our honor. Protect honor at all costs. It is a gift from God.

When Relationships Become Unhinged

Over the years, I have had people become, as they say, unhinged in their response to something I said, did, or wrote. Its probably happened to you as well. The term unhinged is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary to describe something as “highly disturbed, unstable, or distraught.” 

When we are the recipient of an unhinged response during a stress-filled exchange, an open door of opportunity appears. Just this week we bought a new refrigerator because our old one died. The delivery team had to take our back door off its hinges to remove the old frig and deliver the new one. Without the door coming off its hinges, the delivery could not have taken place. 

If you have received an unhinged response from someone during this strange and unfamiliar time, choose to look past the remarks or actions to see the opening that stands before you. The best of people who usually exhibit sound, stable, and measured responses to life can become unhinged in a moment of personal weakness. These negative interactions are an opportunity to begin praying for people with greater understanding and compassion. It also allows us an opportunity to examine our own hearts. Those who delivered an unhinged response to something you said or did might be facing stressors and challenges you are unaware of that inflamed their initial response.  

Until a time when a resolution and mutual healing takes place, your prayers and words of blessing will make possible the delivery of something new to the wounded relationship that only an unhinged doorway of opportunity could have provided. God has the ability to turn the negative experiences of life into something good if we are willing to work with Him, even the hurtful unhinged responses we toss back and forth at one another during a moment of unguarded response.

Sad Battles

There are times when the environment of spiritual conflict is more deadly than the weapons wielded in actual battle. Environments, whether social, familial or work-related carry life and death potential.

In II Samuel 18, David’s army entered a battle in the forest of Ephraim against the army of Absalom. 20,000 soldiers died that day. The text reads, “The battle raged all across the countryside, and more men died because of the forest than were killed by the sword” (II Samuel 18:8 NLT).

The forest of Ephraim was thick with oak and terebinth trees limiting the ability of Absalom's army to retreat. If the trees were not enough, the forest was filled with bogs, thickets, and wild animals. It was a dense, hostile place. Perhaps the saddest part of the battle was the fact that the opposing army was David's own people who had rebelled and came under the command of Absalom, David’s son.  Absalom died in that battle when his hair was caught in the limbs of a tree while retreating on the back of a mule. As he dangled from the tree, he became easy prey.

The battle in the Ephraim forest weakened the kingdom. The conflict resembled a civil war. Civil wars are so negative in their outcome that the Romans would never allow a celebration of triumph for a victory in a civil war. They knew civil war only weakened the empire. 

Civil wars between Christians have a similar weakening impact on our relationship with each other and our testimony to the surrounding culture. This weakening takes place when we put each other in places of conflict where death, not life is the outcome. Our negative thoughts, words, and deeds become relational bogs and thickets that catch people and make them easy prey for a loveless expression of our faith.

Of late, the Lord has impressed upon me more and more the importance of the environment of my heart. Any toxic attitude or desire to punish an opposing opinion must be dealt with immediately, or my relationships with fellow believers will become a place of sorrow resembling the forest of Ephraim.  

The Power of Inquiry

What made King David such an effective leader and a man after God’s own heart was his willingness to inquire of the Lord for direction before he took action. On the few occasions when David did not inquire of the Lord, death, sorrow, and heartache took place. Each of us can be effective in our particular Kingdom assignment if we are willing to inquire of the Lord before we speak or act.  On the other hand, like David, we will sow death, sorrow, and heartache when we rely on our own wisdom or follow our unbridled passions without first inquiring of the Lord.

Vetted Truth

Only God can create honest headlines. The rest is human opinion. Be careful what you determine to be true based on another person’s opinion. Even so-called evidence can be biased if not vetted by God’s Spirit.

The Sting of Love

If we create a message hoping our audience will accept what we share, and if acceptance becomes our primary motivation, we will eventually compromise truth to hold onto our audience. At some point, we have all been guilty of this transgression. Humility, honesty, and repentance is the only way out of this trap. 

As a young pastor, I remember the day God challenged me on this subject. I still feel that sting today. I am still being stung to this day in other areas of personal compromise. I want to be stung again and again whenever I find out I am more interested in keeping my readers happy and having them enjoy what I write than serving them the hard and sometimes uncomfortable truth. 

If left unchallenged, our compromise will cause the Spirit to withdraw His instruction and leave us with a message crafted only by human wisdom and our version of spiritual reality. In America, we have created a lot of feel-good theology and subsequent worldviews.  This has taken place in our insulated culture absent from the stark realities of life being lived out each day by our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world. We can too easily create a spiritual and emotional Twilight Zone where reality and truth have been exchanged for a fuzzy, photoshopped lie. 

When God expands the sphere of influence of our voice, no matter if our audience is one or a million, we will experience a challenge to our integrity. If we do not allow the challenge to discipline our hearts and the content of our message, any of us can be susceptible to making a weak turn toward compromise.  This becomes especially important if we have allowed our identity to be hitched to a preferred response from our audience. The principles of truth and honesty never change. They walk with us into each new season of life, carrying with them the sting of love.

Honor Boxes

For the last 20 years, I have driven past a small sign announcing homemade jams for sale. Just off the main road sits a small table at the end of a dirt driveway where homemade jams and jellies are for sale. I passed the table as I have always done, but this time, I turned around and went back. It was time to find out what was on the table.

When I got out of my car, I saw a small wooden table where jars of pumpkin butter, apricot, and berry jams waited for customers. Each jar was decorated with a little bow since it was Christmas time. On the table was a handwritten note announcing the cost of the items along with a small box to place your money. No one was there. I bought several jars and dropped a twenty in the box.

The most impacting thing I saw on the table was a small box with a slot where you could deposit your money. I named it the “honor box.” 

Every transaction of life has an honor box somewhere. While the last thing on my mind would be robbing from what I perceived to be a little granny making jam, there are areas in my life where passing the honor box test might actually be a challenge. Maybe it is discovering something a speaker or writer used from a book or article I wrote quoting me verbatim without giving me credit for original authorship.  It can happen when I pretend to listen to a conversation waiting just long enough for my turn to interrupt and give my two cents worth of input, not really hearing what the person was trying to express. My list of honor box failures goes on.

Every person has honor boxes lining the path of their life. Most of these are not recognizable by others. They are placed in the private moments of our life-experience where no one but God is watching.  They resemble an unguarded jam stand.  We can take advantage of the honor they offer if we have not allowed God to have His way with our character. Like the honor box at the roadside stand, each honor box requires that we make a deposit before we move on. Those deposits or the lack of them will direct the course of our life.

Depositing Sweetness

Our marriage is filled with small rituals. Each morning after Jan and I greet each other, we enjoy a long hug and a kiss. Then we move to our second daily ritual of morning writing. Jan heads off to her chair in our bedroom, and I enter our living room where my writing chair awaits. After about an hour of writing, I make breakfast and take it to Jan. Every morning, I place a small piece of chocolate on Jan’s plate to be savored after breakfast as it melts in her mouth under the warming influence of her last cup of coffee. 

It’s that little piece of daily chocolate that I am thinking about as I write these words. In case you might have some idyllic thoughts about our marriage, it’s that little piece of chocolate that I hope will create some relational equity when later in the day I say something stupid or hurt Jan’s feelings. 

Buying your wife flowers for no reason - just because, or doing the dishes without being asked or putting a piece of chocolate on a breakfast plate is what I call “depositing sweetness.” Anything we do to express our love to another person is like making a deposit in a savings account. Over time it collects interest.

My father was a rough and tumble kind of man. He grew up in the depths of the Great Depression, just trying to survive. He hopped freight trains to find work and boxed a few rounds on Friday night for a $5 purse. Yet, in all his manliness and strength, as a young boy, I watched how he tenderly treated my mom with on-going expressions of his affection. He did the little things that mattered.  When he did fail as a father or husband, it was the interest gained from those loving acts deposited over time that kept our family together in the tough times. Witnessing those small expressions of love given to each other over time created a respect that my brother and I have for our parents who have long-departed this life.

It’s never too late to start expressing your love. Today, look around and discover a place to deposit a little sweetness in the lives of those you love. That deposit may seem small, but it will not go unnoticed.

A few weeks ago, I got busy with our breakfast preparation and forgot to put the little piece of chocolate on Jan’s plate. When I walked out of our bedroom to return to my writing chair, I heard Jan say, “A little piece of chocolate would be nice.” Nothing we do in love for those we love ever goes unnoticed.

Our Future Self

During a recent hike, I came upon an older man who was also hiking. I saw him ahead of me, moving slowly along our shared path. He looked to be in his late 80’s and possibly his early 90s. He was dressed in leather hiking shoes, a red-checked Pendleton coat, and a brimmed felt hat. In his right hand was a walking stick. He was moving slowly, but with purpose. 

As I passed the older man, I greeted him and kept moving. When I finally passed him, I turned around to look at him one last time, at which point he said, “Have a wonderful day.” He issued those words with a slight smile on his face. In that quick moment when I turned around and heard his kind words, I felt I was getting a glimpse of my own life somewhere in the future. 

I hope to be doing what the older man was doing with such an air of peace and kindness and mobility. My ability to reflect the image of the old man is not up to God. It is up to me. God has already made all His decisions about my life, and they are all good decisions. Now, I must be the one to choose a life that reflects that goodness, so I can walk the trails of life with hope and expectancy.

Today, we are creating a version of our future self – the person who will walk the trails of our future. The person we become, whether we walk a wooded trail or an urban sidewalk, will not be created by protecting the illusion of youth. We can try to dye our hair back to a color that long ago departed or get a new wardrobe that is too young for our station in life or try to talk in hip tones. None of those attempts can touch our core. They only reflect activity on the surface of our life. Our future self is created by the investments we make today in the quality of our character, protecting our joy and how we choose to love others. 

When I turned back around and continued down the trail at a younger and faster clip than the older man, I could not shake the impact of that encounter. It was a Spirit-empowered moment. As I navigate through the next decades of my life, I want to remember the expression on the face of the old man. He possessed something of true value that the passing of time could never jeopardize.

Our Mouthy Culture

I would like to comment on many things taking place in the public square, but in doing so, I would probably scare some people and offend others with my frankness. So, I remain silent and pray. My lips carry multiple scars from years of biting them in an attempt to restrain my desire to respond to the emotional lure of the current hot-button issue.

It feels good to vent, at least for a moment. Some mask their venting under the heading of “speaking the truth in love,” patriotism, being a "prophet" or a  wide variety of other permission slips. If our comments are not motivated by a heart of love and examined by God’s Spirit, we are just another source of negative noise. 

Venting is fed by a cowardly bravado that comes from living an insulated life free of the consequence of our words.  Social media and our TV sound byte culture have added to the problem. Emotional venting is short-sighted and insensitive. It can wound people without having a relational context in which to work things out. It can also invite a punch in the nose when someday the recipient of our unedited comment meets us in a dark alley. In the end, our venting only adds to the descending level of cultural decency we see playing out before our eyes. 

Do I have opinions? You bet I do. But, “you got to know when to hold em’, and when to fold em’” as Kenny used to sing. Today, as I try to do each day, I will take my opinions to a quiet place and let God deal with my attitude before I open my mouth. I wish I had a perfect track record in this area, but like you, I don’t.  Imagine what could happen if we all asked God about the integrity and delivery of our words before we opened our mouth. I wonder what the dialogue in our culture would begin to sound like.

Gothcas and Ridicule

Gotchas in public discourse are not prophetic. They are a form of ridicule. Pointing out the failures of others in an attempt to win an argument or prove a point is not a work of God’s Spirit. Participating in a cruel-hearted exposure is evidence that the person speaking is not working in concert with God. A truly prophetic voice will reveal the heart and will of the Father. Ridicule and mockery are not the delivery system of a message from God.   

The Deposit

Your life has made a deposit and left an impact. In this life, you will not be able to fully define your influence. Eternity will reveal the significance of what you left behind. 

Every human being makes a deposit in life, both good and bad—and sometimes ugly. Some of these deposits appear large, and some go unnoticed. 

We all desire to exit our life with a banner over our heads that says, “Significance.” We have been created to live a life of significance and leave behind an honorable legacy. 

My understanding of legacy has changed dramatically over the years. There are still some lingering elements of self-focus that will surface from time to time—more often than I would like to admit. But I want my understanding of life and legacy to resemble what the Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Philippi: “For his sake, I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8). Our legacy will be written from those things we were willing to discard for the sake of Christ.

 (An excerpt from my book, A Good Place)

The Prison of Disgust and Disdain

God is coming after our disgust and disdain. All of us have placed people and their ministries within the prison walls of our judgment dismissing their significance. We did this because we determined they did not fit within our narrow understanding of how God’s Kingdom functions. Our disgust and disdain were given life when our pride and self-importance displaced God’s love and mercy. 

The Lord is not coming to slap our wrist like He was correcting some pouty and disobedient child. He is coming to unlock the prison doors of our self-imposed delusion to lead us out into a place of freedom. We are the imprisoned ones, not the ones who carry the burden of our judgment.

In that unlocking, God will reveal the allies He has called us to walk with into a new season under a fresh anointing. These are the very ones we had previously dismissed and distanced ourselves from thinking we could never work together because we were so different. 

Character Above Gifting

Everyone has a gift. To say someone is “really gifted” is a statement of preference.  It simply says we value and might even prefer a particular gift and its function. We like gifts so much we take tests to determine what gifts we might possess. They are popular, fun, and informative. Some have devoted their lives to help us discover our unique gifts. It’s become a ministry of the Church and in some cases, an industry. I haven't seen any character tests. Most of those are conducted in private when no one is looking or listening.

Having served in the Church for the last 40 years, I have noticed something. It’s not the results of a gift-assessment test that guarantees we will leave behind a significant legacy. I have found it was the depth of a person’s character that enabled them to leave behind a legacy of significance. 

The depth of our character developed in a painful maturing process is what gives our particular gift its long term influence and fruitfulness. It is not wise, nor is it healthy to ever promote gifting above character. It is a fatal flaw, and many have succumbed to its lure, both the holder of the gift and the recipients who follow the ministry of a gifted person. 

Our character, not our gift is what needs nurturing. After all, a gift is given to us by the grace of God. It is a grace gift, not one we can work to produce. We can develop the qualities of a gift and the way it is delivered, but it still remains a tool graciously handed to us by God. It is only effective when carried by character and empowered by the Spirit. For a season we can function in a gift with amazing results with a deficient character, but at some point, that charade will no longer work. The development and wholeness of our gift can only thrive atop the stable platform of a healthy and whole character – a character developed while living in submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Feeling Used

At some point, you might feel used or even manipulated as you help someone else make a transition. 

Planned transitions can take on a life of their own. Once plans get rolling, they can feel like a freight train running ahead at full steam. You either get on board or get out of the way. The process can feel pushy to those called to serve its ultimate goal. 

We are called to serve one another. The only healthy way you can navigate this season is to put to death your ability to be offended. Offense is something you choose to pick up. Don’t do it. People will see your negative attitude and how you hold yourself back when you should be pressing in. 

You can never be manipulated if you have a servant’s heart. Servants anticipate the needs of those they serve. They are too busy serving in love to be sidetracked by self- interest. Press in and God will do a wonderful work in your heart, and you will be a blessing to others. 

 (An excerpt from the book, A Good Place)