Entrusting Love

When my daughter's husband-to-be asked me for her hand in marriage, I said, “My answer is ‘yes.’” I told my future son in law my "yes" was because I could entrust my daughter to him to love and care for her now and long after I am gone. Entrusting someone you love to another person is the highest affirmation you can ascribe to another person. May we be that kind of person in all our relationships.

 

 

When Corny is Good

Last night, Jan and I watched a movie that was different from our typical fare of drama, action, and intrigue. It was a western. At first, I thought it might be too corny to endure, but it grew on us as the minutes rolled on. The theme of the movie was redemption, honor, and integrity. After the movie was over, I turned to Jan and said, “That was refreshing. I’m glad we watched it.” Jan agreed. Perhaps we are all at that place emotionally when filling our eyes with simplicity, authenticity and a bit of corny emotional input is just what we need. A detour into the simple and pure things of life in these complicated times will offer us an intermission of peace and a moment of rest when life becomes heavy and dark, polluted with a never-ending broadcast of evil and wrongdoing. 

The Power and Beauty of Belonging

On July 4^th, Jan and I had the honor of officiating our daughter’s wedding. Toward the end of the ceremony, I had Anna and Jared exchange rings. I explained to them wearing my wedding ring for the last 47 years was a daily reminder that I belonged to someone – to Jan. I remember the day Jan and I drove to the Eastridge Mall in San Jose, California, to buy our rings. I still carry the joy of that day. After all these years, the pattern on our rings has long worn off, but their meaning has grown more significant and meaningful with each passing day.

A sense of belonging is critical for a person to be healthy, both emotionally and spiritually. Belonging is not created by wearing jewelry or owning shared property. It is a look in a person’s eyes when you embrace them that speaks of shared love and commitment. It is a feeling you carry when apart wanting to be in their presence once again. It is a sacred trust and something you protect at all costs.

Perhaps one of the greatest things we can do for someone is to let them know they belong. For a friend, it is offering a reminder of the value of your friendship. For a stranger, it is affirming them as a fellow human being who is worthy of our love and respect. 

When people no longer feel like they belong, a separation occurs, and in that place of separation, mean-spirited and harsh things take up residence. The only thing that can disempower those things is a kind word or a gesture of affirmation that tells them they belong.  We all belong to each other and to God. No one should ever feel like they are alone. Knowing we belong is the first step in healing the painful wounds of separation. It is our responsibility to initiate that first step with each person we meet.

A Coming Change in Leadership

What has culturally transpired over the last few months will reveal that some in positions of authority are no longer suited to lead those they serve into a new and unfolding future. This will not be a personal indictment or an attack on a leader's character. It will simply be the realization that a mismatch of gifts and assignments has taken place. 

In the coming year, some leaders will step down from places of authority or be asked to do so. These decisions will be made on local and national levels and within the Church. 

The decisions made to initially assign these leaders in their current roles were made based on what was known at the time. But now, the context of their assignment has changed. Assignments that seemed right before the current upheaval took place will no longer bear fruitful outcomes. Those involved in reassigning these individuals must make their decisions with compassion and understanding in order for the grace of God to rest upon the process.

Relational Excommunication

When we hear the word "excommunication" the image of someone sitting under examination before a panel of people wearing ornate robes surrounded by a high church environment might come to mind. The picture looks ominous.

Excommunication is not limited to a formal inquiry. There is a form of relational excommunication that can take place when someone says or does something of which we don’t agree. In those instances, we can choose to distance ourselves from them, no longer wanting to remain in fellowship with the offending party.  One day the guilty party is a friend and co-laborer, sharing mutual life and joy, and the next, they are held at arm's length with a cloud of suspicion hanging over their head.

I am sure there have been times in the last 2,000+ years when someone violated the essential truths of Scripture remaining unrepentant, and some excommunicating action was warranted. Those actions have been few and far between. Today, in our emotionally charged culture, we can too easily dismiss a person from our life simply because they think differently. 

We all need to guard our responses regarding people who might not align with our view of life, the role of the Church in culture, and in some cases, an opposing view on a hot-button issue. In these instances, the Lord delights when we are willing to step over our offense to reengage the offending party making sure that our love and fellowship remain intact. 

A Father's Blessing

I've held off releasing this blessing written by Jan for a few days waiting for the right time. I sense today is the right time. Some have had challenging relationships with their earthly father or a father figure. Others are trying to help someone get healed from the wounds of a broken father relationship. I believe hearing the words of this blessing will become a healing salve of the Spirit. These words of blessing will confront the lies embedded in the painful wounds of neglect and abuse. Knowing and receiving God's love is the first step toward healing and restoration of any broken relationship. 

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A Father’s Blessing - Genesis 28:3-4 & Psalm 139

David the Psalmist has a clear picture of the Father’s heart and I turned his words into a Father’s blessing. I also included God’s blessing we inherit through Abraham to Jacob and to all His people of faith (Galatians 3:5-9).

In the Name of Jesus Christ,

may your spirit and soul and body

believe the value your Father

places on you; may His understanding

of you bring you wonder and strength.

Listen to His heart for you—

receive the Father’s blessing:

My hand of love is upon you, imparting

a Father’s blessing to you.

I cherish you constantly;

every single moment I’m thinking of you!

I created you in love, by Love, for love:

I formed your innermost being—

carefully and skillfully shaping you.

My desires for you and your destiny

are more than the grains of sand

on every shore!

I saw who you were created to be

before you became you;

the number of days I planned for you

were already recorded in my book.

I thoroughly know you—

I understand your thoughts

and perceive every movement

of your heart and soul;

I read your heart like an open book.

I know the words you are about to speak

before you form a sentence;

I know every step you will take

before your journey even begins.

When you arrive at your destination,

I am there waiting for you.

I’ve gone into your future to prepare your way;

I follow behind you to spare you

any harm from your past.

I bring light into your night—

there is no such thing as “darkness” with me;

the night is bright as day,

with no difference between the two.

My presence is everywhere.

Never imagine that you could be here

and I somewhere else;

it is impossible to be separated from me.

Wherever you go my hand will guide you,

and my strength will empower you.

May you multiply and be fruitful

and your descendants with you.

May you inherit the land I give you.

May all the generations after you,

and all the families of the earth

be blessed through you.

Sad Battles

There are times when the environment of spiritual conflict is more deadly than the weapons wielded in actual battle. Environments, whether social, familial or work-related carry life and death potential.

In II Samuel 18, David’s army entered a battle in the forest of Ephraim against the army of Absalom. 20,000 soldiers died that day. The text reads, “The battle raged all across the countryside, and more men died because of the forest than were killed by the sword” (II Samuel 18:8 NLT).

The forest of Ephraim was thick with oak and terebinth trees limiting the ability of Absalom's army to retreat. If the trees were not enough, the forest was filled with bogs, thickets, and wild animals. It was a dense, hostile place. Perhaps the saddest part of the battle was the fact that the opposing army was David's own people who had rebelled and came under the command of Absalom, David’s son.  Absalom died in that battle when his hair was caught in the limbs of a tree while retreating on the back of a mule. As he dangled from the tree, he became easy prey.

The battle in the Ephraim forest weakened the kingdom. The conflict resembled a civil war. Civil wars are so negative in their outcome that the Romans would never allow a celebration of triumph for a victory in a civil war. They knew civil war only weakened the empire. 

Civil wars between Christians have a similar weakening impact on our relationship with each other and our testimony to the surrounding culture. This weakening takes place when we put each other in places of conflict where death, not life is the outcome. Our negative thoughts, words, and deeds become relational bogs and thickets that catch people and make them easy prey for a loveless expression of our faith.

Of late, the Lord has impressed upon me more and more the importance of the environment of my heart. Any toxic attitude or desire to punish an opposing opinion must be dealt with immediately, or my relationships with fellow believers will become a place of sorrow resembling the forest of Ephraim.  

A Good Kind of Ornery

I have come to appreciate ornery people – ornery people with a good heart. For some of you who might not know what ornery means, the dictionary definition comes in two forms. One definition describes a person who is irritable, difficult to control, or combative. The other usage describes a person as “having a playful tendency to cause trouble, mischievous.” I am referring to the latter kind of ornery.

What is so appealing about this kind of person is the absence of emotional or relational camouflage. You really know what they think and where they stand.  They tell you the unvarnished truth no matter who is in the room. They do it with a wry smile on their face that lets you know they will still be standing with you no matter what happens. In that honesty, the last thing on their mind would be to abandon you by remaining silent when what you needed most was honesty. 

No Longer

A significant transition takes place in our relationship with God when we longer see ourselves as working FOR God, but WITH God.

That transition takes place when we no longer see ourselves a - 

sinners, but as saints fully redeemed

servants, but as friends of God

orphans, but as sons and daughters

This change of insight into our true identity will radically upset the spirit of religion that desires to control us with a lesser image of ourselves than how God sees us. It will also challenge our understanding of God's love and require that we step out of the cell of a broken identity into the freedom of a new creation.

The Promise You Carry Together

Last night, I had a dream. I had forgotten about the dream, and just now, the Lord reminded me of its content. I was going to wait until tomorrow to share what I saw, but I feel it is time-sensitive and needs to be shared today.

It was a simple and very brief image of a husband and wife walking off into the distance, hand-in-hand. I could tell they were carrying an extra load of emotional weight, but their faith was not wavering. The Lord allowed me to see with a form of spiritual x-ray vision into the area between their clasped hands. They were carrying a seed of promise. As they walked together, they were moving forward into a new season where the seed would be dropped in fertile soil that had been prepared for the arrival of the seed by their prayers and faithfulness.

The seed you are carrying has potential beyond your imagination.  All of God's promises for you are yes in Jesus. The small seed of promise you two carry has a "yes" written on it. Right now, you don't know where or when the seed will drop. God will let you know the right time and place. Until then, keep moving forward in faith. You will experience an increasing joy that comes from living in an expectation of God's goodness and faithfulness to perform what He promised.

Closures

As we get older, something visits us with increasing regularity. That visitor is closure. Seasons of life come to an end. Places we once lived change over time and close behind the door of our history. The lives of friends and loved ones end transitioning from this life to the next in life's final closure, but the memories remain. A great treasure of growing older is being able to collect a lifetime of memories. I have noticed a sweet sorrow associated with those memories. Their sorrow tells us we have lived well and long and wanted life in all its forms to remain forever even though we knew better. The sweetness comes because we are thankful for the honor to have lived through a lifetime of openings and closures.  At this later time of life, we begin to reflect on the privilege we had to carry our memories to the end - to the moment of our own closure, always thankful for the journey, beginning to end. 

Our Future Self

During a recent hike, I came upon an older man who was also hiking. I saw him ahead of me, moving slowly along our shared path. He looked to be in his late 80’s and possibly his early 90s. He was dressed in leather hiking shoes, a red-checked Pendleton coat, and a brimmed felt hat. In his right hand was a walking stick. He was moving slowly, but with purpose. 

As I passed the older man, I greeted him and kept moving. When I finally passed him, I turned around to look at him one last time, at which point he said, “Have a wonderful day.” He issued those words with a slight smile on his face. In that quick moment when I turned around and heard his kind words, I felt I was getting a glimpse of my own life somewhere in the future. 

I hope to be doing what the older man was doing with such an air of peace and kindness and mobility. My ability to reflect the image of the old man is not up to God. It is up to me. God has already made all His decisions about my life, and they are all good decisions. Now, I must be the one to choose a life that reflects that goodness, so I can walk the trails of life with hope and expectancy.

Today, we are creating a version of our future self – the person who will walk the trails of our future. The person we become, whether we walk a wooded trail or an urban sidewalk, will not be created by protecting the illusion of youth. We can try to dye our hair back to a color that long ago departed or get a new wardrobe that is too young for our station in life or try to talk in hip tones. None of those attempts can touch our core. They only reflect activity on the surface of our life. Our future self is created by the investments we make today in the quality of our character, protecting our joy and how we choose to love others. 

When I turned back around and continued down the trail at a younger and faster clip than the older man, I could not shake the impact of that encounter. It was a Spirit-empowered moment. As I navigate through the next decades of my life, I want to remember the expression on the face of the old man. He possessed something of true value that the passing of time could never jeopardize.

The Strength of a Woman

Last week, Jan and I were taking communion and praying together like we do each day. After we received the bread and wine, we prayed over our children, our marriage and some of you who are reading these words. It was still early in the day, and the morning sunlight was filtering through our living room window, casting a delicate shadow of Jan in prayer. I quietly raised my phone, and discreetly captured her image. 

I have a wife who still turns my head and makes my heart leap each time I see her. We are not short on romance. In many ways, we started dating 50 years ago and haven’t stopped. What I love most about Jan is not her beauty, the sound of her voice or how she walks, though those things do grab my attention. It is the strength she carries in the Spirit I admire most. She is a spiritual mother to hundreds of men and women around the globe. She has a quiet confidence that comes from a woman who does not have to prove herself. She walks in intimacy with God. In all our conversations about people, she never violates their trust. She carries honor, not sharing with me, or anyone the most intimate details about another person's life. I feel like I am living with a spiritual giant that daily slays hell with the weapons of truth, love, honor, and mercy.

If you are a woman your most significant strengths will be discovered in the Spirit, not in the shallow offerings of a broken image of womanhood that continually lives in fear of the beautiful process of aging, or self-doubt, or allowing someone other than God to form you into their image. The most appealing things to a man who is worthy to share life with you will not be found inside the garish pages of a glossy women's magazine but within the truth of Scripture. 

If you are a man and happen to be reading these words, your desire to be the protector and lover of your wife will be seen most clearly when you are strong enough to partner with her as your spiritual equal stepping forward together arm-and-arm in prayer and worship and a shared life in the Spirit. When a man and a woman live like this, their life will become a living advertisement of the power of oneness. That is the measure of true strength for both a man and a woman.

Transported by Love

Yesterday, I was stopped at a traffic light. I began to hear the bleating of a lamb. I thought it was something on my radio. Then I heard it again. I realized a lamb was inside a custom made transport crate depicted in the photograph. The crate was securely held in the bed of a pickup truck. I could tell the person driving the truck cared about the lamb the way they had prepared to transport the animal. The bleating of the lamb was happening because the lamb had no idea what was taking place and did not know this was being done to make sure the lamb would arrive safely at its new destination. The unfamiliarity caused it to bleat out its concern.

The lamb looked and sounded like someone God is moving to a new place through unfamiliar experiences. There are times when God will put us in the crate of an unusual expression of His love to keep us safe in the journey. When the journey begins, these crates make no sense. We want to go back to the familiar pasture we have known where things made sense, and life was predictable. The lamb I saw would not survive the traffic I was driving through. Traveling alone and unprotected would have caused the lamb to experience a level of danger not present in the peaceful pasture of its past. 

There are some situations in life where we can feel trapped and taken to places we did not request. Before we label any transport as something negative, we need to ask the Lord if this is something He is doing for our own welfare. Once we know it’s the Lord, we will begin to experience a deep appreciation for the love and care of God, and our bleating will stop. At that moment, when surrounded by so many unfamiliar things, we will understand He is trying to get us through the dangerous traffic of life to arrive safely at a new pasture. We can always trust God in the journey, no matter how strange and unfamiliar it might appear.

The Prison of Disgust and Disdain

God is coming after our disgust and disdain. All of us have placed people and their ministries within the prison walls of our judgment dismissing their significance. We did this because we determined they did not fit within our narrow understanding of how God’s Kingdom functions. Our disgust and disdain were given life when our pride and self-importance displaced God’s love and mercy. 

The Lord is not coming to slap our wrist like He was correcting some pouty and disobedient child. He is coming to unlock the prison doors of our self-imposed delusion to lead us out into a place of freedom. We are the imprisoned ones, not the ones who carry the burden of our judgment.

In that unlocking, God will reveal the allies He has called us to walk with into a new season under a fresh anointing. These are the very ones we had previously dismissed and distanced ourselves from thinking we could never work together because we were so different. 

Mystery and Wonder

In your transition, leave room for mystery and wonder. This is a spiritual endeavor, not a business plan. 

Religion is mankind’s attempt to codify God and have him all figured out. Man-made religion is devoid of the mystery and wonder that exists when we relate to the eternal God. He is so large that we will need all of eternity to explore his depths. 

Whenever we lack a sense of mystery and wonder, we find ourselves attempting to control every aspect of the process and its outcome. Human control drains wonder and mystery from the process. 

God wants to amaze you. God wants you to worship in wonder and awe when other people think you should live in fear. Your journey is a spiritual journey. See it from that perspective, and you will live in a sense of awe at what God will do in and through your life. 

 (An excerpt from the book, A Good Place)

The Night Before Disaster

On this night 18 years ago, we all went to bed unaware of what would take place the next morning in New York. The only ones aware were the terrorists. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Tonight, pick up your phone or go to your keyboard and tell someone you love them. If something in your life is not right, make it right before sleep takes you into the night. Like all disasters in life, they come unannounced and without warning. Keeping our life-slate as clean as possible will keep us free from the cold and sorrowful embrace of regret.

Connecting

Together, we exchange

passing glances, slyly

smiling at the possibilities.

We brush shoulders, 

press our lips upon sweet necks,

hold hands in the spur 

of a moment,

no matter time or place

or who may be watching.

Each of these speaks 

of a love connecting and reconnecting,

again and again
over a lifetime.

Perhaps this is an evidence

of love that endures,

this desire to connect

to stay connected

to keep touching, pressing together

over time,

through all the seasons

no matter what comes 

our way to get in the way

of each other.

The Gift of Generational Wealth

There is something called generational wealth. This is wealth amassed by one generation and passed on to the next. Some have been denied this blessing due to war, mismanagement, premature death, disease, discrimination, or unresolved issues of sin. Apart from those sorrows and the financial damage they inflict, we should be able to leave something behind for those who follow us. 

For example, someday Jan and I will pass on our home and any assets we have to our children. We will leave behind a harvest they did not plant believing they will do the same. My parents and Jan’s parents did this for us. This is not about big bucks, mansions, and a Lamborghini in the driveway. Neither family was wealthy. My dad was a carpenter. Jan’s folks were missionaries.  In fact, both parents lost everything late in life, but God intervened on their behalf and restored to them a retirement blessing through a means not considered by most financial planners. In their loss, they encountered the grace and mercy of God.  Under God's redemptive hand, they finished better off after the loss than they would have had the original retirement plan worked out as structured. When our life is placed in the hands of God, outcomes are encountered that seem impossible to natural thinking.

When Jan and I were younger, we made plenty of mistakes with our finances. We needed God’s grace and mercy to help us when we bought a new car on time having by-passed financial wisdom in our decision-making process or when we ran up our first credit card to the max “buying” a cruise to the Caribbean. I read something a few years ago that most first-generation millionaires drive older used cars. Instead of forking out large monthly car payments and the resulting high insurance premiums, they save money. They saved because they are looking past the moment and seeing something in the future that took precedence over an emotional purchase that could lead them into personal financial bondage and lack. 

Some people approach their finances with blinders on. They see wealth as a way to gain more things and status. As a result, they squander the ability to create generational wealth. The wise ones have another plan. They have learned to say no to reactionary spending and exercise a gift of the Spirit called self-control. They see the next generation that will either inherit their lack of discipline or their blessing. This is not about lots of money. Not everyone is destined to roll in dollar bills in this life. It’s about vision. Our vision of the future must be so other-centered that it can overcome our desire to sin, mismanage our money, or make foolish decisions that rob a future harvest of its greatest potential. 

When I consider a purchase or a choice that could lead to sin or dishonor, I take a moment to envision my wife and children.  It’s amazing how that image will affect those decisions. As my family comes to mind, so do those who have trusted my leadership and my voice within God’s Kingdom. Ultimately that journey of discernment will lead me to the face of God. I have not always been perfect in that process, but it is the desire of my heart. I want to leave behind something for the next generation to harvest from the labor of my personal discipleship and discipline. I don’t want to stand on the door of eternity empty-handed either in the natural or spiritual realm. I want to leave behind the wealth of God's grace and mercy.

Spiritual Parenting

Spiritual fathers and mothers get angered by the same things that incense a young believer. What a spiritual parent has learned to do with the help of God is to temper their initial angry response. This is done to offer their spiritual offspring the time needed to process their decision, not having the added weight of stumbling over a parent's undisciplined knee-jerk response. Spiritual maturity is a process for both parents and children. The mature love of a spiritual parent is longsuffering and able to endure the most foolish of responses patiently waiting for their children to come back to their senses and make the right choice