A couple of months ago, I took one of those at home tests called Cologuard that people use in place of a colonoscopy. I had a colonoscopy 17 years ago and got a clean bill of health at that time, so I thought instead of going through the process of a colonoscopy, I would do the easy thing.
When the results of the Cologuard test came back, it was positive. I wasn’t expecting that result. I was shocked. At that moment, a whole host of fears lined up telling me horrible tales about my future, my eventual death and Jan having to live her remaining years alone. I took the test results seriously because I have good friends and relatives who have battled the c-word. Some are in the middle of that battle as I write.
From past experience, I knew I needed to do something before I told Jan what happened. I invited Jesus into the scary Cologuard positive test result and asked Him to show me how to respond. What happened next was amazing. The Lord said, “Stand on the ledge of your fear. Now step off. Step off into My peace.”
I could actually feel the trembling fear under my feet. It was a shaky and weak sensation. In the next moment, I made the choice to step off the ledge trusting in the word the Lord had spoken. After I took the step, I began to literally free-fall into what I can best describe as a syrupy slow-motion sensation where the atmosphere was thicker than usual. I was free-falling into the peace of God. There were no bumps or borders. It was an infinite sensation of peace without depth or ending. I was falling into God.
After several moments of that beautiful experience, I found Jan and told her about the Cologuard positive result. We prayed. We also worshipped. We were not worshipping from a place of fear, but of peace. Stepping off the ledge held something dark back from our thinking of how we would process the next few weeks until a colonoscopy provided an accurate reading on what was happening inside my body. I continued to free-fall for the next month until my colonoscopy took place. The free-fall continued after the procedure for the next week while I waited for the lab results.
A few days ago, the gastroenterologist sent me a letter regarding the lab test results for the small polyp he removed during the procedure. The report stated, “benign polyp - no cancer potential.” He recommended that I have another colonoscopy in ten years, which is a normal cycle for these kinds of procedures.
When I read the doctor’s report, and before sharing the good news with Jan, I got down on my knees and thanked the Lord. I spent a few moments in worship. I got up from my knees and walked into our living and shared the results with Jan. We worshipped together and thanked God for His goodness.
Life will present each of us with a ledge of fear somewhere along the way. Fear is no place for any of us to stand because lies and hopelessness speak loudly in that place. Stepping off the ledge of fear into the peace of God is our only spiritually healthy option. The peace of God that surrounds us at that moment of free-falling is able to guard our hearts no matter what life brings our way.
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