“Gifts that Humble Us” by Garris Elkins

In the late 1990’s, Jan and I lived in Berlin, Germany.  Berlin was our base of operation because of the abundance of travel options the city provided. We worked and traveled in the nations that comprised the old East European Communist Bloc.

Our primary assignment was to encourage and strengthen our family of churches in that region and to explore new relationships.  For our four years in Europe we lived on airplanes and trains.  Our travel took us to some beautiful places, but the most beautiful part of our assignment were the people we met along the way.

We were contacted to travel to Budapest, Hungary to meet with a group of people who were voicing an interest in relating to our church family.  Upon our arrival in Hungary we met this group and spent the next several days building relationships and teaching. One young woman attended every meeting.  She was articulate and well educated.

On our last evening in Budapest the young woman brought us a gift. The gift was a beautiful glass bowl. As we unwrapped the gift she began to explain the story of the bowl and how it ended up in her grand parents possession. 

She shared that her family had fled to Hungary from Nazi Germany during World War II.  In their overland escape they were only able to bring with them what they could carry during their overland hike to freedom.  Among the articles they carried was this beautiful glass, serving bowl.  The bowl was constructed in two parts with the head of the bird functioning as the handle.

We were all taken with such a story – a story much like a Hollywood movie script. She said her grandparents were so thankful that I had come to Hungary to share God’s love that they wanted to give me this gift as their appreciation for our visit.

I had been in similar situations before where gifts were given by grateful people, but this gift carried with it a significance I had never experienced before in all my travels. 

I thought of this gift being carefully wrapped, treasured and carried over the many miles of a dangerous foot passage.  I thought of what this bowl meant to her family as part of their heritage.  Of all the things they could bring with them – they chose this beautiful bowl.  And now they wanted to give it to me.

In the moments between her telling me the story of this prized possession and my unwrapping it, I had to make a decision.  If I received this gift I would have to carry it and prize it for the rest of my life.  If I declined the gift I would demean an unparalleled act of sacrificial giving.  In great respect, I received the gift.  Today, 15 years later, that bowl sits in a place of honor in our home.

Over the years, I have tried to think of what God was saying to me through the gift of the glass bowl.  I was obviously honored to receive such a gift, but the greatest thing that happened to me was the humbling effect the gift brought.  I am not sure I would have given such a gift.  I would have been afraid I was giving away irreplaceable family memories.

The night I received the bowl, I was privileged to be in the presence of something rare – the giving of something priceless.  As I think of my life, I wonder what I have given away that is priceless.  As I think through my possessions none of them carry the story and passion of that glass bowl.

Then I realized I do carry a priceless gift – I carry the presence of Jesus Christ.  Every believer does. Each time I love another person in His name or share His truth, I am giving away something priceless.  I am giving away God. This gift of God’s love is priceless because it cannot be purchased with human currency or effort.  It must simply be received and released.  The greatest value of a gift is expressed by giving it away.

Each time we love in His name we are giving a gift that will leave the recipient feeling humbled because they are holding something beyond human value.

Tonight, I held again that glass bowl.  I held it with the gentleness and respect due its history because I know it survived a dangerous trek to ultimately end up in my hands.  That bowl, like our lives, is on assignment to show others what real love looks like.

“Drinking Scorpions” by Garris Elkins

Each morning I walk into our kitchen and do three things.  I feed the dog; I start the coffee maker and I take my vitamins while drinking a large glass of water.  This morning, I noticed that I first splashed a bit of water into my glass and then poured it out before finally filling it to the brim.  I realized I have been doing this little splashing and emptying ritual each morning for the last 50 years. 

In the 1930’s my father was like so many other men who traveled across America looking for work.  One crew he worked on was in the desert region of the American Southwest.  It was hot and exhausting work.  The camp had water stored in large wooden barrels. The men would pick up metal cups and dip them into the water barrel to get a drink.

One of the old timers told my father about the scorpions that liked to hide inside the metal drinking cups.  To this day, I am not sure if the story was true or not, but my dad believed the old man.  My father watched as the old man dipped his cup into the water barrel then poured the contents out on the ground with a flip of his wrist to clear out any scorpions from the cups interior. He would then thrust his metal cup deep into the cool water to retrieve a drink. Most likely the old man was simply clearing the sand that covered everything in the desert, but the scorpion story sounded better.

As a young boy, I worked with my father on his construction sites.  I would watch him pour a bit of water in his water glass and then spill it out, like he was still making sure no scorpion was in his glass. As a little boy wanting to be like my father, I did the same. Sons want to be like their fathers. Most of what a son learns he first learns by copying his father. As life progresses we either retain or discard what we learned in this copying form of mentoring.

Watching and copying a life can lead to problems if the one you are copying is not someone you want to become.  My father loved me and desired to have my best interest in mind.  Copying him was usually a fun and safe thing to do.

The Apostle Paul said in I Corinthians 11:1 “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”  That is a bold statement.  As I read Paul’s words, I know he was talking to group of people who felt they were mature but were not.  They had some issues that Paul would address.  When we need to mature in a particular area it is important to find mature people to copy until our behavior becomes habitual – like a little boy watching his father drink a glass of water and finding himself going through the same action 50 years later.

What makes Paul’s appeal so powerful was the fact that he was asking them to imitate him as he imitated Christ.  Paul was not asking them to imitate him apart from Christ. It wasn’t about Paul setting the agenda – it was about Paul living a life yielded to God that was worthy of being imitated.  This yielded life to Christ is what made Paul’s invitation to the Corinthians so compelling. If fathers are following Jesus Christ their sons and daughters have a life to follow that will lead them to a secure and joyful life because they are ultimately following Jesus incarnated in a parent.

Over the years I have read Paul’s invitation for the Corinthians to imitate him, but never looked at the previous verses to understand the context. The verse about imitating Paul begins with the word, “and” linking his word to the previous verses that came before in chapter 10.

I Corinthians 10: 31 “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.”

I could make a long list of mature believers, both male and female, that I would like to imitate.  Their lives have proved to me over the years their faithfulness and proven trustworthiness.  If we are going to imitate someone, what are the qualities we want imitate? The verses in I Corinthians 10 give us some insight.

“Do it all for the glory of God.”

This is the source of all Paul did – all he did was for the glory of God. When you find someone living for the glory of God, it will be someone willing to deal with personal pride. God’s glory becomes the most visible aspect of their life. You will know you have discovered this kind of person when they respond humbly to their sin, acknowledging their error and the hurt they have caused others.  This kind of person is approachable and teachable and will come to you asking for forgiveness because of a wrong attitude or action

“Try to please everyone in everything”

Paul wrote to the church in Rome, “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”  Romans 12: 17-18

Other translations of this verse say to be at peace as far as you are allowed.  Take your efforts of peace as far as possible and even if your best attempts at reconciliation are rejected – don’t retreat from this heart-posture.

This posture is not about people pleasing where the root issue is the fear of man. We choose to live to please others because of God’s love and compassion that was first given to us.

I tell people to surround themselves with friends who will speak the truth to them in love, but to do it in such a way that honors both God and them.  It is far too easy to speak “truth” in the name of God, but have it packaged with a wrong attitude. When we are around these kinds of people we are constantly trying to find ways to make them happy.  It never works in the long run because it lacks peace as the fruit of our effort.  These are not lives we want to imitate because they are not trying to please other people – they are demanding that everyone please them and this brings discord, not peace.

“I do what is best for others”

A wonderful mentor to many people, Jerry Cook, once said, “Love is seeking the highest good of another person.”  Love does not seek the best for itself as its first goal. Love seeks to discover the highest good for an individual or a culture and then finds creative ways to deliver that higher good as an act of love.

These kinds of people are rare.  I want to become someone who seeks the best for others.  I have found too many times that I set up a filtering system that attempts to trap the good for me first before I even think about other people.  When God gives me insight into this kind of personal brokenness it is a painful revelation. Healing my selfish heart is the first step in the process of becoming a person that other people would want to imitate. 

Fathers teach so much to their sons and daughters.  The vast majority of this instruction is done when our children are simply watching our lives. As a father who wants his children following a healthy parenting image, my prayer today would sound something like this:

“Lord, help me live today in a way that brings glory to your name. Let the example of my life be     one that is known for seeking peace no matter what it costs me.  Help me do what is best for others so that my life is marked by your loving presence.”

This morning when I walked into our kitchen, I was reminded of the time when I first noticed how my father filled his water glass. His reason for how he filled his glass was more interesting than the mechanics of actually taking a drink. Thinking about scorpions in a cup was fascinating to my young mind and watching my father imprinted something in my life that I still live with 50 years later.

Today, as I father my natural and spiritual children, I want their reason for imitating my life to be anchored in something beyond me - something eternal.  As I follow God and release my selfish agenda to embrace His, I want my children to follow that aspect of my life. I want that to be the reason why they would consider imitating me.

“Seeing Something New for the First Time” by Garris Elkins

As a boy, I listened any time an older person told a story.  I loved hearing their stories. It was through these stories that I learned about life and came to appreciate the power of seeing something for the first time.

My maternal grandmother was born in 1896.  Her name was Annie Boone. The day of her birth took place in the horse and buggy era. The automobiles we consider so normal today were unheard of in her time.  A moving vehicle would be viewed with fear like it was a UFO to those who first saw them.

Growing up in America in the 1950’s, my grandmother used to call our family car a “Machine” - not a car or an auto or the Oldsmobile we owned, but a machine.  As a young kid growing up in a car-centric culture this never did make sense to me.  It wasn’t until my grandmother told me the story of her first experience seeing an automobile that I understood her choice of words.

My grandmother shared about a night on her East Texas ranch when the family was sitting on the front porch after sunset.  It was summer time and the humid warmth of the evening still hung heavy in the air. Their porch lamp was the only light in the dark countryside.

These people had never seen an automobile before – ever. They had no pictures from a magazine.  There was no Internet. Their lives were really no different than any other isolated family living on the frontier.  Their lives contained outhouses, wells where you went outside to pump water and a good horse and wagon to get into town for supplies. It was a simple and hard life.

That night as the family sat on the porch, out on the distance horizon they saw two headlamps.  They did not know they were headlamps of a car – they had never seen anything like this before.  It looked otherworldly.  They only saw two orbs of light floating in thin air.  They did not understand these two bouncing lights were connected to something called an automobile. As the car bounced down the rutted country road the lights flashed up and down into the trees and brush that lined the road adding to the supernatural element of the experience.

One of the older women let out a scream and ran into the house. The kids started crying and the men went inside the house to get their shotguns.  These dear relatives of mine were experiencing something equivalent to seeing an alien force of UFO’s landing on earth.  We look at this scene today with a sense of comedy.  These people thought the world was coming to an end.

Shotguns in hand, the men and family watched from inside the house as this horrible machine “flew” up to the front of the ranch house and stopped.  The men pointed their shotguns out the window towards this strange contraption that had now stopped and turned off its lights.  The family continued to experience terror until they saw a man walk out of the shadows up onto the porch asking for directions.

The directions had to wait that night until this man explained what had just happened and what this strange machine was all about. After a long explanation, directions were finally given and off the man and machine went into the night.

We can look at a story like this, and in our urbane and knowledgeable way, look down at these quaint and seemingly naïve people and miss an important truth.  When something is new - really new – out of this world new – it can take on the appearance of a “machine” driving down an East Texas dirt road 100 years ago.  Some things are so far outside our realm of knowledge and experience that we are left speechless.

There is not much that we can truly call “new” in our world.  We get enthralled with the newest software or the newest iPhone iteration, but rarely do we get so dumb-founded that we let out a scream and see the menfolk run into the house to get the family shotgun. We have been numbed because our “new” is not profoundly new, it is simply the progression of something that already exists. 

The only place this kind of amazement has the possibility to exist in our highly developed world is when God shows up and does something so extraordinary that it takes on the appearance of a visiting alien. This is alien, not as a new life form, but alien to our current level of understanding.

The Books of Acts tells us of events – mostly supernatural healings – that put entire cities in an uproar.  When these events took place the commerce of a city was put on hold while the signs and wonders of God were pondered.  Even civil government was shut down while the participants in these supernatural events could explain themselves, much like the man who stepped from the shadows one night in East Texas 100 years ago to explain the existence of his machine.

This is what I am waiting for in my world. I am hungry for God to do something that defies my labels.  Most of us who “do Church” can do church well.  We have implemented many good things to help people enjoy their worship experience and we are exploring ways be a positive presence in our communities, but in the long-term this kind of lifestyle can become a flat-line experience with God and can have us sitting on our religious porch enjoying the evening together and not expecting more.  I am hungry for God to drive down the road of our culture toward our religious ranches and shake us up in a good way.

When this happens I wonder what label we will put on our experience? 

“The Daddy Date” by Garris Elkins

When I became a father, God blessed me with a daughter and a son.  We have prayed for each of our children since the day they were born.  One of the great joys of being a father was to do special things with each of my children that would be specific to them as a boy and girl.

As my daughter approached her Junior High School years, I wanted to make sure she knew what it meant for a man to love and respect her as a woman. For her first decade of life, Anna was able to watch me interact with her mother.  She saw my successes and failures as a husband. I wanted the developing young woman inside my daughter to emerge with a healthy perspective when it came to relating to men.

At the time, we lived in Newport, Oregon, a small coastal town.  Our town was a destination spot for tourists and was filled with wonderful restaurants.  I knew the time had come for our first Daddy Date and selected a quaint little Italian restaurant in the Nye Beach area and made reservations.

For all her life, I had watched Anna grow into a wonderfully grace-filled person. What her mother had modeled for her in her developing womanhood was exercised later as an adult resulting in wise decisions when it came to dating.

I remember, as a teenager, when Anna was going on one of her first dates. We were going to have a talk about the right time to come home. I was about to have the talk when Anna said to me, “Dad, I think I want to be home by 10 – I have something I need to do for school tomorrow and don’t want to be out late.” It is a tremendous blessing when kids make decisions like this. To be honest, I was ready to say, “Be home by 11.”

When the day arrived for our Daddy Date, I made sure to dress up a bit.  I washed and cleaned the car.  I wanted Anna to see that I anticipated my special time with her and that I was investing in that time before it arrived.

When Anna came out of her bedroom she looked beautiful.  I took her by the arm and walked her out to the car and opened her door.  She was smiling, as was her mom who stood in the doorway of our home waving goodbye.

Once we arrived at the restaurant we were led to our table and ordered dinner.  As our dinner was being prepared, I asked Anna questions about her life.  I complimented her.  I focused my attention on her.  This was an occasion to love and appreciate my daughter, but it was also a form of mentoring to make sure my daughter could see the kind of man God wanted to send her way – a man who was interested in her, loved her and appreciated her. This is what fathers should instill in their girls so that when men enter their lives later on they will know the real from the fake.

Fathers create strong images in the minds of their daughters. Some of these images can be good and others not so good.  Our daughters will leave our home carrying these images into their dating and married life.  It is so important that a father send his girl forward in life with images of what a healthy dating life and marriage looks like.

A Daddy Date will eventually lead to real dates when fathers are not present. Our girls will date young men who have yet to make the transition to manhood.  It is in these places where a young man is not fully developed in his godliness that the gift of honor and love a father sends with his daughter becomes a protective barrier against harm and abuse.

When Anna and I finished our main course, we ordered dessert. The evening was coming to a close.  On the way home I felt good about our date.  When we arrived home, Jan could see by the smiles on our faces that we had a wonderful time.

In the years that have followed that first date, Anna and I have had other Daddy Dates.  Some of these took place in between dating seasons with men who were not her father.  I always felt like the investment Anna and I made in her life would help her navigate her future romantic interests.  These investments also helped this father live with the peace that comes from knowing that his daughter was ultimately in God’s hands.